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Pieboy Tower
The Pieboy Tower, also known as The Pieboy6000 Tower is a massive building, currently the third tallest known on this wiki at 1,670.6ft beaten by the Thunderbirds Tower at 1,730ft (because we count spires), located in Lolcouver, Lolnada, and the absolutely massive Emergencyranger tower at 4,531ft (which seems to have been attacked twice and has some features similar to the Pieboy tower). It was secretly constructed in 2008, and kept a secret on this wiki until 2011. It is the location of Pieboy6000's operations and videos, and many people are working for him here. The Tower contains Many different floors that house different Facilities, so that visitors may feel at home if they do visit the tower. The first that looked like Taipei 101 was knocked down, but Pieboy protested, killed them and rebuilt how he felt fit too. Then he knocked it down again ''on July 18th 2011, and rebuilt just like Taipei 101. It also contains a ROFLnuke launch tube, which is used for nuke tests and for launch ROFLnukes at other countries. This is the only one in creation, and Pieboy is the one with the blueprints, thus the Pieboy Tower is the only tower equipped with Nuclear Weaponry. This did cause the Lolcouver ROFLnuke disaster of July 29, 2011, when a mechanical failure killed the engines in a ROFLnuke and had to be detonated to stop worse damage hitting Lolcouver. DROPTLCON DROPTLCON (Defense Readiness Of the Pieboy Tower and Lolcouver CONdition) is a condition readiness level run by Pieboy6000 in the Pieboy Tower. It sports 5 settings. These change depending on the situation that the country happens to be in. Facilities and Floors of the tower There are many facilities in the massive tower of 101 floors (No connection to Taipei 101 in any way whatsoever). Floor 1 - Welcome Area, Ground Floor Lunch area. Floors 2 through 11 - Lower floor Offices, where workers who do the paperwork and sort legal issues (such as urinating onto peoples heads off the top floor) work for Pieboy. Floors 12 through 15 - A Federal Holding area where criminals who were workers at the tower are held. Floor 16 - This floor holds people who have been infected by things like the Really Sucky Virus. Those who have the Really Sucky Virus Eternal Edition will live out the rest of there lives here. People who are infected with any of strains of the Virus (or any other problem) are sent straight here for emergency help. Floor 17 - The Medical Wing. If someone can be cured from their problem, such as the DARO Retard Capsules, they will be treated here. Floors 18 through 20 - The Toilets. The only other toilets are the ones for the Higher Workers on Floor 98. Floors 21 through 23 - Weapons Range, anyone who steals a weapon will be instantly sprayed with M60's. Floors 24 - 60 - Five Star Hotel, where it was made Five star because you are permitted to shitting out of the window on to peoples heads below. Floors 61 - 67, 70 - 80 - The Pieboy Secret Armed Service Military Facility. Central command for the USSR military and houses the PSAS, a special branch of the USSR. No one but the Service, Extremely high VIP's (Such as Thunderbirds101) and Pieboy are permitted to enter this floor. The PSAS are only released when intense battles break out, or unless someone sets foot in the floors and refuses to leave. They are also the tower security. Floor 68 - The ROFLNuke Launcher. ROFLNukes are placed here and are readied for launch. From Floor 101 only can the nukes be launched. Floor 69 - The Pieboy ROFL Brothel. Only VIPs, Pieboy, and the PSAS are allowed in here. Floors 81 - 97 - Civil Defence Offices. This is where lucky workers are sent to make sure that we know when we are about to have a war, and what our defences are like, and how we can protect the people. Floor 98 - The Higher Toilets, only for use by Pieboy, and anyone on Floor 81 or above. Floor 99 - 100 - The video creation offices, where Pieboy has his workers create videos for the world, these people are well payed. Floor 101 - Pieboy6000's Personal Office and Living Space. Pieboy6000 lives here, and has the room guarded by LOLturrets, who can remain active even in an EMP. The floor can, coincidentally, hold 101 people, meaning Large parties happen every now and then. Employees on floors 81 and upwards can eat lunch in here. Roof - The Roof has a helipad located on top of a large pillar which is entered by External Stairs. This is used for Emergencies, or whenever Pieboy returns from a trip of any kind. All floors contain a fire escape, and the fire escape for Floors 81 and upwards is either by Helicopter or the Fire Escape Waterslide. There is an external Glass elevator that is a bit faulty and tends to get stuck between floors 7 and 8, 20 and 23, and 50 and 65. For this reason, an internal elevator runs up the center of the building up to floor 60, in which they must change to internal elevator B to continue to Floor 69, and then Floor 81 and upwards. Legal Issues There has been several legal issues Concerning the tower due to it's floors. June 17th, 2009 - Water Slide Fire Exit was complained about because it was made of plastic and held together with IWAY dough. This was fixed by making it out of metal. October 19th, 2009 - Lower Floor Workers complained about there shitty pays, and demanded a rise. Pieboy raised their salary by £1, left it for a few weeks, then changed it when nobody noticed back to 50p and hour. This was suddenly noticed, the noticer fired (literally, they kicked him out the door while he was on fire), then raised the pay for everybody to £1000 per week. August 7th, 2010 - People in the area complained of loud music blasted from Floor 101 the night before, which was Pieboy's birthday. They were all promptly told to sod off, and no-one really cared. Octorber 9th, 2010 - Tthe external Glass elevator fell straight from Floor 101 to Floor 1 and smashed. Three people were injured, (including the famed Microsoft Sam) from the shards of glass, and made a quick recovery. Pieboy then handed Microsoft Sam $161389561 for his injuries. The glass elevator was reconstructed, and still gets stuck on the same floors it usually did. December 2nd, 2010 - A grenade was thrown out of a window during an attack, and hospitalized several people. This was confirmed to be part of a terrorist attack on that day. March 14th, 2011 - A man fell off the roof. This was deemed as the man wanting to commit suicide, and all charges were dropped. Attacks on the Tower Sadly, a bunch of assholes live in the world and have attacked the tower before. December 13th, 2008 - A man detonated a car bomb outside the ground floor, threatening to bring it down. Authorities and engineers quickly worked on this problem, and the man was sentenced to death for terrorism. 2 people were badly injured, but made a full recovery. March 14th, 2009 - A few soldiers entered the building and began shooting at workers as the men approached Floor 61. They entered Floor 61 and were cut down in a firefight with the PSAS (Pieboy Special Armed Service). About 30 people died, 14 were injured, 5 severely. The men were identified as the Lolzillian Militia. November 17th, 2009 - A massive troll face hit the tower, severly damaging Floors 71 - 93. The building was safe, but had to be shut down for a month for repairs. 1 man was injured. May 31st, 2010 - A Military Jumpjet owned by the United Speakonian Soviet Republic Fired missiles at Floor 101, but the missiles were quickly shot down, and the jumpjet followed, thanks to the PSAS and Roof AA Guns. This is the first known attack of the USSR. It was later confirmed this was a rebel who wanted to command the USSR himself, and stole a Jumpjet. December 2nd, 2010 - A Man entered the building at 9:46am and made his way up to floor 41, and started shooting at everyone he saw. He threw a grenade which went out the window and caused a legal issue for the tower. 3 people died, 6 were injured, 2 severely, and 1 man was left in shock. The man, later identified as Bob Schnitzelmoth was executed by target practice, being used as the target, in floor 62. July 1st, 2011 - Radar Overseer Scotty began pelting the building with Baloney sandwiches, causing bad structural damage. The attack was ceased when Scotty turned round and got shot in the bollocks by LOLCouver Authorities. Floors 15, 32, 45 and 69 were damaged in the attack. July 11th, 2011 - After learning Pieboy6000 would be backing North My, and the fact that he is actually the Ruler of the USSR, A Myen from South My flew to LOLcouver in a jet and bombarded the tower causing major damage. Luckily, Pieboy6000's newly constructed Demolition Repair Droids (DRD's) quickly patched the building up when the Jet buggered off. The Jet was then taken down by the Lolnadian Navy on suspection of terrorism. They were right. 25 people died, 37 were injured, 6 of them severely. This is the 2nd most damaging attack ever recorded in the tower. July 30th, 2011, 1:54pm - After the Lolcouver Nuclear Accident, Rogue United LOLs of ROFLica soldiers attack the tower. The PSAS fight them and suffer no casualties. The leader is arrested and personally executed by Pieboy6000. He then sent a message to the ULR informing them of the Rogue agents attack on the tower, and asked them to "Make sure this doesn't happen again, because the last thing we need right now is attacks after Lolcouver has suffered such a tragedy. We may be enemies, but right now is a horrible time to attack after such a tragedy in a large city like Lolcouver". The ULR have yet to respond to this. July 31st, 2011 - The Thunderbirds Tower was testing out some non-nuclear missiles to see how far they could reach. The target systems buggered up in mid-air and they targetted the Pieboy Tower. The Pieboy Tower was quickly warned, however the shield generator was still charging from test on the day of Lolcouver Nuclear Disaster. The missiles smashed right into the tower, killing 17, injuring 56, 12 severely. The Pieboy Tower was instantly apologised to by Thunderbirds101, and he was instantly pardoned by Pieboy6000, as they had been warned of the danger before hand and it would have been prevented if the shield system was better. August 14th, 2011 - A ton of Soiturranian soldiers invade the tower. After an incredibly lengthy firefight at the the front door, the PSAS came over victorious, using Vista ammo to repel their attackers quickly. Pieboy himself took part in the battle. 264 died (156 Civilians, 108 PSAS and USSR troops), 235 injured (105 Civilians, 129 Soldiers, 1 Pieboy) and the damage was absolutely massive on the first few floors. This is the Deadliest attack and most damaging attack on the tower yet, and was only won when the PSAS noticed Pieboy was injured, in which they jumped into a near unbreakable defencive stance and repelled the Soldiers until they fled. Remaining Soiturranians were captured and executed later. The damage was closed for 3 hours while DRD's repaired the damage. October 1st, 2011 - Lolzillian Militia attack the tower again, still annoyed that Pieboy owed them atlaest $300,000 for accidentally blowing up half of the Rio de JaLOLro favela. They were denied access to the tower, and opened fire on the tower. 1 PSAS was killed when a bullet made it through his visor (which he had killed the shielding on so he could wipe it) and headshotted him, 46 civilians died, and 3 USSR troops died. 18 Militia died and the other 15 were deported back to Lolzil, never to return to LOLcouver. October 29th, 2011 - The Soviet Lulz Brigade attempt to prove that they can do far worse than the Supreme AI and attack with Air and Infantry units. The PSAS and SpetsLOLz in the tower fight a hard battle for atleast 16 hours. The tower is badly damaged, Floors 24 - 43 are incredibly damaged. About 260 SpetsLOLz die, 8 PSAS die, and 473 out of 530 Soviet Lulz Brigade troops are eradicated. The other 57 soldiers are executed on national television, and a verbal warning sent by Pieboy6000 tells Scottyvich Baloneykov to "back off NOW, before the USSR shows how much it has advanced in the past 4 months". Scottyvich is surprised he lost the battle, but now knows the location of the Pieboy Tower in Lolcouver, Lolnada. November 12th, 2011 - 1,000 SLB and North KoROFLian troops pour into the tower, murdering civilians along the way. They are confronted on Floor 17 by PSAS and SpetsLOLz, as well as Radar Overseer/Battle Advisor Bob, Tactic Advisor Nikolai, and Pieboy himself (who was armed with a .357 MagLOL RevLOLver). There was atleast 2,169 deaths altogeher. 716 civlians, 500 SpetsLOLz, 950 SLB and North KoROFLians, and 3 PSAS. Tactic Advisor Nikolai was critically injured after a throwing knife hit him in the chest. He recovered in about a week, in time to return to service for the War in the ROFL Island Chain. The remaining 50 invading troops were imprisoned for a while, then executed with ROFL-6 Nerve Gas, giving them a terrible death for what they had done. November 23rd, 2011 - A man enters the tower, goes to Floor 19, then leaves. A man who visits the toilet for a dump discovers a large, strange device. The PSAS move in and discover that the device is infact a ROFLNuke, and is ticking down to everyones demise. The PSAS Emergency Bomb Defusal Team moved in. The ROFLNuke had 10 minutes to detonate. With over 6 million lives on the line, the PSAS: EBDT worked as fast as they could. With 1 minute left on the clock, the bomb was defused. As soon as it was, a bomb was detonated on floor 87, killing 52. The man, identified as Viktor Spalanykov, an SLB member, was pulled in to the Federal Holding place, and questioned. Viktor was then thrown into a room that looked plain and simple. The furniture got pulled into the walls and the ceiling came down slowly, crushing him. Pieboy sent the recording to Scottyvich and told him to back off. Accidents June 2nd, 2011 - A few days after the Thunderbird Tower was nearly hit with ROFL 6 Nerve Gas in Lolinois, ROFL 6 Nerve Gas was detected spreading through out the buildings ventilation system, the gas having drifted up from the United LOLs of ROFLica into Lolnada. About 170 people died, many civilians who wouldn't stop panicking and listen for once. It was finally contained when the tower's air pumps activated, and removed the ROFL 6 Gas. This is the 2nd deadliest accident on the tower that was ever recorded. July 19th, 2011 - A small fire started on Floor 17 (the medical wing) when a piece of equipment had a technological fault and blew up. This small fire wasn't detected by the fire alarms. Eventually it grew and the fire alarms went off. By the time the Lolnadian Fire Department had got there, the fire had burned through the ceiling and set Floor 18 on fire, and Floor 16 was set on fire. Once they had managed to contain the fire, Floor 17 was completely toasted, Floor 16 was badly damaged, but Floor 18 had only taken moderate damage, as it was designed like a normal bathroom, with tilefloors and walls, making it a lot less flammable. 18 people died (6 reported to have passed away before the fire due to natural causes, or by other medical conditions), 22 were injured, 4 severely. The tower now runs constant maintenance checks every 2 hours, day and night. July 29th, 2011 - A ROFLnuke was tested and fired out of the ROFLnuke Launch Tube on the Pieboy Tower. The nuke was going fine until it's engines encountered a mechanical failure. The nuke was very high in the air and was remotely detonated a bit too late, as it was already about to land. The EMP washed over Lolcouver and blacked it out, the nukes shockwave smashed every sheet of glass. Atleast 216,246 people have been said to have died in what is the most damaging, frightening and destructive accident that was ever recorded in a Lolnadian country. 6,124 died from falling, either because they were leaning on windows or because they were blinded by staring at the explosion and fell off/out of a building, and the rest died from Radioactive Fallout or the nuclear blast. Pieboy has payed atleast $198,541,863,398,345 to the Lolnadian government for such a catastrophic accident. The tower's shield went into testing for 1 hour just 5 minutes before the nuke hit, preserving the tower. Due to the amount of shock everyone was in from the disaster, The USSR had to pull out of the War in the Republic of My to make repairs and to decontaminate the surrounding areas of Lolcouver. November 16th, 2011 - An IS-FUCKYOU tank that was in maintenance fires a shell into the Lift shaft from Floor 1 to Floor 66 and cause massive structural damage, nearly causing the building to collapse, and by coincidence a LOL-24 Hind makes a total cock-up of a landing on the roof and crashes through the roof and Floors 97 - 101. Once the tower was repaired, the pilot was sent to a Flying camp to get his ability to fly back, and the engineer was suspended from the site for about a week. Miraculously there was no deaths, however 87 people were injured when the Hind smashed into the building. Trivia *The building is most attacked because the attackers were jealous that the tower had a water slide and they didn't. *Floor 69 was made the ROFL Brothel out of pure coincidence. *Originally, this tower belonged to Simon Cheeseteeth, and was taken over by Pieboy6000 after a good bit of Swordfighting, resulting in Simon's death, by falling off the roof of the tower. The swords are kept in Pieboy's living quarters today, still stained with Simon's blood. A Memorial is outside the tower. It reads: '''SIMON CHEESETEETH' 1978 - 2008 DIED PROTRECTING WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY HIS, AND IS NOW SOMEONE ELSES. *The Queen of EngLOL visited the tower and a massive banquet waitied for her. She returned home, happy that she had some respect for her from others'.' *It was originally going to be created on July 2nd, 2007, but the War in the ROFL East prevented construction of it. Category:Buildings